Friday, June 24, 2011

You are a disgraceful Muslim and should be ashamed of yourself!

Living in a non-Islamic state can sometimes be challenging. Not every place is going to be halaal, not all your friends are going to be Muslim and you are certainly not going to NOT make mistakes. But isn't this what life is all about though? Making mistakes mean that you are going to learn from them… hopefully. But for me, living in a diverse society is normal. I don’t yearn for an Islamic state because I don’t know what it’s like to live in one. And quite frankly with all these revolutions and uprisings in the Middle East, I am loving South Africa right now.

At university I hung out with Muslim friends only and never really mixed with other people and other cultures. Despite coming from a Hindu family, I still became very engrossed with the Muslim culture. I say Muslim culture because we all know as we move forward a “Muslim culture” is different to an “Islamic culture.” Once I began working things naturally changed. I was the only Muslim at my company and still am. I interacted with different people and different belief systems; some Christian and some non-believers. In the beginning it was strange being amongst people that didn’t share your beliefs and people who didn’t believe at all. But you get used to it I guess. I started interacting with them on different levels and going out to places with them that I wouldn’t normally go too. But does that make me a disgraceful Muslim?

I received a message from a young lady yesterday that said, “You are a disgraceful Muslim and should be ashamed of yourself.” My first thought was that this person had absolutely no right to judge me. And I pondered about this into the early hours of the morning, I actually pitied this person. I pitied her because so many Muslims do actually feel that they are entitled to judging others. They judge the way people dress, speak, act etc. Fair enough, judgment is a human quality and we cannot escape it. I sometimes judge people but I am trying my best to stop because God knows that I am not perfect. Nevertheless, I understand why she feels the need to judge me. Judging people makes one feel better about themselves. Judging people makes your wrongdoings seem okay. It might be hard not to judge people’s actions but we have no right to judge people as being good or bad. The Quran forbids us from doing this!

22:17 "Those who believe (in the Qur'an), those who follow the Jewish (scriptures), and the Sabians (can mean certain ancient religion or people with no specific religion), Christians, Magians, and Polytheists,- God will judge between them on the Day of Judgment: for God (alone) is witness of all things."

She has judged me because the closest people to me right are not Muslim. I still have close Muslim friends. But I have realised that my non-Muslim friends genuinely care about me, genuinely go out of their way to help me and genuinely want to see me happy. My best friend is Christian. He gives me more religious guidance and encouragement to stay on the righteous path than what my Muslim friends do. Yes I said it! A Christian helps me to be a better Muslim!

It isn’t that difficult living in a non-Islamic state. I actually think it’s better. I get to meet so many different people and mix with so many different cultures that I would never have been able to do in an Islamic state. I have freedom of thought, speech and action as a woman; which I love! I get to teach others about Islam without being fanatic about converting them. I get to be myself but I will always be judged for it and that’s okay.

49:13O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of God is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And God has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).


  1. Wow, what a post! But i loved every word of it.

    I agree, As a new Muslimah , I find discrimination because I was a Christian,and I went to church 4 times a week.Apparently me not always wearing my Hijaab is a disgrace.Even after saying my Kalimah, it's still a problem.
    But that's human nature, always trying to play God. I've made peace with small mind like them.

    My Muslim Teacher told me , that Allah accepts all who praises him.Your hijaab and who you spent time with does not make you a Muslim, It's your intentions and what is in your heart.

    I say, As long as you are a good person, Abide by the Pillars of Islam and have that relationship with your creator, nothing and no-one can Judge you.

    People who Judge like that , have some issues they need to see to. Hypocritical for sure.

    I say treat their comments like water on a ducks back :)

  2. One of the things that I love about an online community is that it makes you feel a lot less alone! I share in your frustrations and experience and hope that god gives you the strength to rise above this level of idiocy.

    Great post. Unfortunate circumstances.

  3. I was a born a Muslim, and I'm judged all the time. If I wear the hijaab, its like who do you think you are, trying to be all self-righteous? And if I don't, I'm a whore. If don't look a boys in the street I'm a Bitch, if I look at them I'm a Slut. It will always be something. Evil wants you to doubt yourself, because doubt breeds weakness. Whoever sent you that message is nothing but a cow. And I hope you told them so.

  4. Suhaifa I have been meaning to read this article for a while now. I agreed 100% with what you are feeling. People do feel the need to judge others when they should think about what themselves first.

    I heard a khutbah in masjid the other day and this reminds me of that. The iman said that we as Muslims are so quick to congratulate people when they revert to Islam but are never there afterwards. Most people are guilty of this, and if your Christian friend is the one keeping you steadfast may Allah reward him insha'allah.

    Your article especially the quranic verses are ones which I keep telling people about when they judge people. We are not allowed to judge but only offer advice. This applies regardless whether the person is Muslim or not.

    Keep strong and may Allah inspire you to inspire others!

  5. Very interesting, and unfortunately very true! though i must commend you on your spirit of steel (and i mean that in a nice way), not allowing others comments to get you down - that'll take you far in life. May Allah keep you (and me!) steadfast on his deen, Ameen!