Saturday, October 2, 2010

Friends; we all need them.

I started writing a self help book in 2007. Chapter five was dedicated to my best friend Aadilah Haffegee. This is what I had to say. (Note: It was 3 years ago so the wording was not too perfect)

Chapter Five – Your best friend.

For Aadilah (2007)
To whom I owe my spirit and soul.
Our journey in life
is a very bumpy one. You don’t always walk alongside me but thank you for the
shoes you’ve given me to make my journey easier.

The most important and fundamental part of your life should be your best friend, nothing except your best friend. It’s not easy going though life alone, whether you a man or woman, outgoing or reserved, everyone needs that special person to share minds with, no not your partner but your best friend. Your best friend should be your other half. Let me tell you about my best friend, where do I begin? I'm yet to meet a person that compliments me as well as she does. We do not have the cliché “childhood friend” friendship, no ours is quite unique, we haven't been friends for more than three years and yet what we have shared is remarkable, what my best friend has taught me, none could have taught me throughout my lifetime. Whatever you have read thus far is because of what my best friend has taught me. From the very first day of meeting my best friend, she has been shaping me into what I have become today. She isn't the friend who sugar coats your problems by telling you everything will be okay one day and she isn't the friend who will listen to you complain about the same situation over again. She is the friend who makes you see the reality of the situation, the friend who makes you realise in a few minutes that nothing will fall off you if a man makes you cry, she makes you see that there's more to life than sitting in misery, she helps you out of any tough situation by cheering you up, instead of whining with you she plays you a song that makes you want to dance and sings along and you can’t help but laugh and suddenly your problems do not feel that big.

She's the type of friend I wish upon every woman on this earth. She doesn’t always know the right things to say and sometimes she doesn’t have to say much, but the thought of knowing my best friend is always going to be there for me is the most comforting feeling in this world. You know sometimes if I feel down I don’t even have to speak to her to smile, I know exactly what she will say and the tone of her voice that accompanies the words and it makes me giggle instantaneously. It is really hard to understand the connection that we have, I myself find it fascinating, for example we can really have it out, during the middle of a really heated argument I just hear the word jellybean and she the word noodle and we forget about the argument and go on talking about something completely different, really weird I know, but it happens, I experience it all the time.

I owe a lot to her, owe her my sanity. At the time of meeting my best friend, I was trying to deal with a particular problem, I was trying to deal with this problem for about a year and no one could make me see reason, yes it was male related. I was lucky I had her at the time, I'll never forget that Saturday afternoon, I poured out my story to her for the fifth time, if that, and I was looking for sympathy, I was expecting it, everyone else took pity on my battered heart and soul, everyone else told me what a great person I was and how he didn’t deserve me, yes those words became my comfort and I lacked reality, but luckily my best friend was my reality, she listened carefully, she looked at me and said "he doesn’t want you anymore so just get over it" that sentence may sound cruel to most people, but those few lines gave me back the one thing I love dearly, the one thing I admire, it gave me back my dignity, it gave me back myself. In a few minutes I was actually making a break through, I was getting over someone I thought I loved, someone that didn’t deserve me, it took reality to make me realise what was actually going on, it took my best friend to bring out the spirit I posses. I thank her each and every day for the gift she gave me that Saturday afternoon, she gave me the gift of seeing a situation as it is, I seldom wear my rose coloured glasses, I look at a situation and see it for what it is. If you can understand the reality of any situation and if you can stop floating on clouds your world will be a much happier place.

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