Tuesday, September 7, 2010

To wait or not to wait - that is the question

It is as sure as you are Roderigo,

Were I the Moor, I would not be Iago:

In following him, I follow but myself;

Heaven is my judge, not I for love and duty,

But seeming so, for my peculiar end:

For when my outward action doth demonstrate.

The native act and figure of my heart

In compliment extern, 'tis not long after

But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve

For daws to peck at: I am not what I am.

Shakespeare's Othello, 1604

Maybe my obsession with finding love has infected my mind like the plague. But there’s something on my mind and I have to put it on paper. Yes, I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am an emotional person who has nothing to hide, let me rather rephrase, who CANNOT hide my emotions from the world. Some say it’s a bad thing, but I would rather let the world see my feelings than keep them hidden away collecting dust within some deep corner of my heart. What a waste of feelings.

When you share your feelings with someone and they can’t reciprocate it, does this make them a bad person? People are different; we all want different things out of life at different times. Sometimes you may feel that you found the person who is perfect for you at your given situation, but the situation he was in didn’t allow him to share his feelings with you. This is something neither of you can help. Do you expect him to change overnight? Do you expect yourself to wait forever? Do you blame that pumping organ that’s on your sleeve? Do you give up?

It is a rather complicated situation isn’t it. What would I do if I fell into such a scenario? I would like to think that I would be strong enough to walk away and move one. But who am I kidding, this is me after all. I’m a sucker for punishment. I think I would hold on a little bit more. I would wait in his shadows, hoping that when the sun goes down he will see that I’ve been close to him at every moment. When the sun goes down and the coolness of the night gives way for the millions of stars in the galaxy, surely he will realize that this is what he really wants. But what if the sun doesn’t go down anytime soon, what it the sun rests in its appointed place for a very long time. Should I still wait around? I can’t and I won’t!

You know what they say right, when one door closes another door opens. But sometimes we spend all our time on that closed door that we fail to see the open door which is waiting for us. Eventually that open door will close too. If he can’t see that I am that open door, why should I still wait?

Life is a funny thing, truly it is. Every day brings something new in its own little way. One moment your mind is a blank canvas, the next it’s being coloured with laughter and smiles and the next moment it’s being washed away with tears. But should you stop wearing your heart on your sleeve? Only you will know the answer to that question!

1 comment:

  1. This post is like you went inside me and wrote what you saw! lol...but mine would be titled to dream or not to dream.